Today’s shorty episode is about tapping into the power of social accountability.
Holding yourself accountable is one thing. But once you share your goals with a community of like-minded people who support and challenge you, you will be much more likely to keep your forward momentum and achieve it. I share my biggest rule with setting goals, a story of my own recent experience in this area, and why we must re-focus away from perfectionism to improve progress.
Being vocal and relinquishing control can be game changes in your journey towards success so I encourage listeners to build a trusted, challenging support system that will lift you and keep you always moving forward.
75 Hard Challenge
This episode is sponsored by Devix Kitchens
Read the Full Transcript ⬇️
[00:00:58] Welcome back to Resilient by Design. I’ve got another shorty episode with you today. I’m your host, Rebecca. Hey, these are the shorty episodes that I’m doing in addition to our full-length, podcast episodes that come out on Thursdays. You get these juicy nuggets for me, once a week now. So today I want to talk about goal setting, and I’m not going to teach you how to set goals.
[00:01:19] I’ve got other podcasts on that. I teach that in my courses and all the time inside Designer’s Room. But. I recently listened to or watched a video on YouTube that really reminded me of the power And I want one caveat here, I always say, and I heard someone say this before, and it makes so much sense: keep your goals close or close to your heart, if you’re worried about being judged or deterred by the people around you.
[00:01:48] If there is someone who’s potentially toxic in your life or someone who just doesn’t get it, it isn’t at your level, I understand and I encourage you [00:02:00] to possibly not share the goal with them until you feel confident enough because if you share it too early and you are insecure about your goal or you are worried what other people think, which is most of us, let’s be honest, then It could throw you off.
[00:02:16] And so in that case, don’t share your goals, but there is so much to be said for social accountability. So social accountability is this idea that let’s be honest, most of us have a really hard time holding ourselves accountable for. doing things, like anything, like I’ll have time blocked in my calendar.
[00:02:39] And I know I’m getting much better at this, but I would have time blocked in my calendar, like go for a walk at lunch. And then I’m like, I’m not going for a walk at lunch. I got all this other shit to do. And I want to get home. So I pick up the kids from school and blah, blah, blah, blah, all these things.
[00:02:51] And so I don’t prioritize my health or I didn’t something I’m working on. So the idea is that you are more likely to hold yourself accountable if you have other people who are expecting you to do it. And so it’s like a bit of this like, it’s not reverse psychology, but it’s this idea of like, Shit, if we know that we’re more likely to do something because someone else is expecting us to, then let’s just use that to our advantage.
[00:03:19] And when I heard this, or when I watched this on this podcast, I was like, Oh my gosh, yes, this makes so much freaking sense. I remember back in 20, was it 2018? I want to say, Oh, and I did the 75 hard challenge. I think it’s Andy for Sola’s challenge. And I. I was like posted on social media. That’s when stories were like the thing.
[00:03:41] I loved that. That was my era on Instagram stories. Cause I’m like progress over perfection sidebar, as you guys already know. And so for me, I was like, people used to be so. Like in awe that I could do this, but like picked up my phone. I would hop on stories and be like, hi, I’m just doing this thing. Peace going for a walk, doing [00:04:00] my challenge, whatever.
[00:04:01] And I loved it because it was unfiltered. It was imperfect. And I love that Instagram has become too perfect and I hate it, but that’s a whole other story. So back then I was like, I made it a public announcement. Now that might be extreme and I’m not suggesting you publicly announce all your goals on Instagram or on the internet.
[00:04:19] It kept me accountable. And so when I only did it for a few days and then I fell off. I shared that and then I was like, fuck, I got to get back on that saddle. Like, let’s go. Like, no, not going to drink today. I’m going to get up. I’m going to do the exercise. I’m going to do the water. I’m going to do the gratitude or whatever the things were that I was doing.
[00:04:35] And I did the 75 freaking days. So tangent, tangent, number one, stop keeping your goals a secret. If you don’t say it out loud. Ask yourself, truthfully, what are the chances that you are ever going to get around to doing it? I think it’s really powerful to think about that. And this idea of perfectionism comes in here.
[00:05:03] And many of us as creatives are guilty of perfectionism. Perfection? loses its luster when you can never achieve it. Do you know what I mean? Like, it’s like this constant striving, like perfectionism is going to slow your momentum. You just need to get started because if you are focusing so much on getting something perfect and doing it right, you’re never going to share it with anyone.
[00:05:32] Like this goal, if you don’t have this goal mapped out, you know exactly how you’re going to do it. Which, by the way, my rule for goal setting, my new rule for goal setting, even though, yes, you can map out the activities you can do towards getting the goal, the biggest rule I think with having a vision and setting goals for yourself is accepting the fact that you may not know how right now.
[00:05:56] And you might need to relinquish a bit of control and give it up to [00:06:00] the universe. But keep doing the things that you can do and keep being receptive and responsive to the opportunities that come your way. And so when you focus on perfectionism, it totally deters you from letting go. Perfectionism is, is a need to be in control.
[00:06:18] All right, designers, if you have been looking for a millwork company, or a custom kitchen fabricator, then you have to check out Devix Kitchens. They will make your life easier without all that freaking drama. Damon, the man behind Devix Kitchens has streamlined the entire process. Hello. You know, I love a good process, making your project a breeze from start to finish.
[00:06:42] Seriously, though, you will wonder why you haven’t found them sooner. If you need to reach out with questions or ideas, you can always give Damon a call or even send him a text message. He is that easy to work with. He personally supervises every single project. He is never going to leave you hanging. But what about the installation?
[00:07:00] Right? Because sounds great on paper, but then sometimes it can be frustrating. Not with DevEx Kitchens. They only hire skilled installers who not only get the job done but do so with the utmost politeness. And guess what? They are masters at leaving zero mess behind. Holla frickin looyah! Your clients are going to be wowed and you won’t even have to deal with any embarrassing situation.
[00:07:25] No drama here. They are as reliable as it comes. Devix Kitchens will ship anywhere in North America. Go check them out and give Damon a call. Perfectionism doesn’t fall far from the tree. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. The other day, my son was upset because he was doing a group project for a science fair.
[00:07:47] And at the time of recording this, he’s in grade four and was very frustrated and complaining about one of the guys in his group. And he’s, he’s in charge and he’s telling everyone what to do. And he’s telling us that like, [00:08:00] you know, why did you do that without me watching you? And he’s making. It sounds like someone else in his group is a control freak and has exercised his need to be in control.
[00:08:11] But what my husband pointed out to me is it’s actually frustrating for my son because my son’s also a perfectionist and he also likes to be in control. And so it’s driving him nuts that he’s not the one in charge. And so what it does is it slows down your momentum. It slows down their ability to collaborate together.
[00:08:33] And it’s as a result. I mean, it’s still to be known how well this science fair project does, but my guess, if I had to guess, if I was a betting person, I’m not going to bet that it’s going to win. I probably shouldn’t say that out loud, but like, right? If you’re not working in harmony together and it’s just one person doing all the work and there’s tension, the outcome can’t be spectacular.
[00:08:56] So that pursuit of perfectionism is what is going to deter you from having momentum. And the reality is. Spoiler alert, none of us actually knows what the fuck we’re doing. Pardon my French, but like all those entrepreneurs out there, all those design firm owners, we’re all making it up as we go along, we’re educating ourselves by talking to people and taking courses and watching videos and listening to this podcast.
[00:09:24] But let’s be honest, everyone in this world hasn’t done these things before. They’re making it up as they go along. Nobody actually knows what they’re doing. So. But get ready because problems are going to come your way. They’re only going to get bigger. And so if you can at least make your goals public to the people in your life or to people that you know are going to hold you accountable, you are 10 steps closer to actually achieving them because you will be actively looking for opportunities and [00:10:00] actively pushing yourself to get something done.
[00:10:03] Because you’re accountable to someone besides just little you. And then that brings me sort of to the last point of this whole Shorty episode, which is to surround yourself with other like-minded people. You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with. Everybody knows that. It’s so clear. So many, so many great minds talk about this idea of the people that you are around.
[00:10:29] You are the average of those people of those five to seven, whatever number of people. So if you don’t have people in your circle, in your life, they don’t have to be your next-door neighbor or your best friend. But if you don’t have people in your life, Who will hear you say your goal and be like, yes, I love this for you.
[00:10:50] What, how can we help you? Then you need to level up your people. You need to get into a community with other like-minded design firm owners, other entrepreneurs, people who are thinking about goal setting, people who are practicing sharing their goals and trying to make things happen because they’re going to be the ones to lift you and they’re going to help you get there.
[00:11:12] The people that you maybe grew up with. and are taking a different path in life aren’t necessarily going to understand your goals. And they might criticize you or they might try to hold you back because it’s scary and they don’t want you to get hurt and they’re afraid and they’re worried that you might fail and if you fail then you’ll be sad and it’s going to be awful.
[00:11:33] But what they don’t realize is sometimes you do have to fail or you do have to push yourself outside your boundary if you want to go to the next level. That’s where having those peers There, who model that and who support you in that is going to be helpful for you when it comes to achieving your goals.
[00:11:51] All right. I hope you guys enjoyed that short episode. Send me a DM on Instagram, hit me up, and let me know if you loved this if you want to hear more [00:12:00] about this concept and this idea of goal setting of surrounding yourself with like-minded people. I love you guys and I’ll see you soon.
